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Hi! I am a 22 year old woman, moved to trondheim, recently, currently studying my Master's degree at NTNU. I am lately feeling alone, after coming here and I had a breakup recently. I almost have no friends now. I have only one friend from my country, who I can talk to. I am so depressed about my breakup and my life. I don't know what to do. I had a lot of safety issues and personal issues in my country. So, I left my country to find some comfort in other places. But, now, It's almost impossible. I never feel home, always feel like an outsider, couldn't make a single strong bonds with any of my friends. It feels like I am always chasing or running for something and I can never reach home. I had lots of self-harming thoughts recently. But, I chose to not let any of the thoughts consume me. My schedule with my Master's is quiet hectic as well. So, I completely feel restless. I just want to find some genuine circle for myself. But, Everytime I try, I come back in the same cocoon, alone.
Psykolog svarer
Moving to a new town in a new country is tough! Everything is unfamiliar—your studies, the people, and the surroundings—and it takes time to explore and adjust. It's perfectly normal to feel alone and lost during this transition, and such transitions are a common trigger for psychological discomfort.
On top of all that, you’ve been through a recent breakup, which is one of the most distressing experiences a person can go through. Having to handle both a move and a breakup sounds incredibly challenging, and again, it’s completely normal to have emotional reactions. It’s part of being human.
You mentioned this isn’t the first time you’ve struggled and that you hoped the move would bring some relief. Sadly, that’s often not the case. Psychological problems often stem from inner conflicts that make it hard to cope with external circumstances, rather than the circumstances themselves. That said, it’s great to hear you’re managing your self-harming thoughts—well done!
Here are a few things that might help in your situation:
ACT: Try doing something active. Take a walk, grab a coffee, or maybe sign up for a gym (Sit has affordable options for students). Taking action instead of withdrawing is really important for mental health.
BELONG: Do something with your friend! It's great that you have a friend here, as friends are key buffers against mental health issues. If you’d like to expand your social network, Trondheim offers plenty of opportunities for students to meet new people.
COMMIT: Try finding something meaningful to do. Engaging in purposeful activities is much healthier for your mind than endless scrolling, Netflix binges, or getting lost on TikTok.
For many, these steps can help ease the transition of moving to a new country and recovering from a breakup. But sometimes, the struggles persist. If you need someone to talk to anonymously, there are services skilled in helping students:
- Mental Helse: 116 123 (24-hour service)
- Kirkens SOS: 22 40 00 40
- Chat with Kirkens SOS: every day between 18:30-22:30 (Fridays until 01:30)
- Studenttelefonen: 116 123 (#3) (Every day from 16:00 to 06:00)
Your local student association also offers affordable services with experienced counselors and therapists if you feel you need professional support.
Good luck!